reaganToday I am struggling to write about yesterday’s horrific events, yet I feel compelled and somewhat responsible to share my feelings. That’s what bloggers do, isn’t it? Today it sucks to be a blogger because I can’t even think about any solutions, all I can really think about is the pain.

I spent much of yesterday on Facebook and at times I cried and at other times I was sickened by the ugliness of humanity. So many people came out of the woodwork immediately to share their pro-gun and anti-gun sentiments. I saw these people as those who were looking to capitalize on a tragedy which took 26 innocent lives. I don’t care what your agenda is. I felt equally sickened by the “right” and “left.”

That’s how I interpreted what I was seeing. At this time in my life I was not a conservative first, I was an American first, and a conservative-American second. I support anyone’s right to share their opinion, but that doesn’t mean I won’t feel it is “tacky” to share it sometimes. I just thought it was inappropriate to come out immediately and start talking about politics. If you are discussing it in a “conservative” or “liberal” setting like a Facebook group I can understand. I just don’t think blasting your political views to your entire friends list is very acceptable at a time like this.

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I understand arguments from both sides and I have seen them a million times before. I think that people who look to capitalize on such a tragedy are an embarrassment to my human race. Today hits to my blog were way down, probably because I wasn’t in the middle of the controversy, but what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong.

I could have thrown up a really compelling piece about guns having nothing to do with this tragedy and probably received about 500 hits in a few hours. I could have used the China tragedy as evidence to support it. Does that make it right for me to do it? I don’t think so.

I’m not sure but I know that I am not up to writing that article yet. I still need time to digest these events.

I felt it was ultimately disrespectful to the people of Newtown, CT to jump right in with the agendas. An entire nation needed a day to digest and grieve. We needed time to try to understand how the same horror was mirrored halfway across the world in China, where another madman had stabbed 22 school children.

Some people were using this very story to support the fact that it was not the guns, it was the people. Though I happen to agree with that statement, I can not condone trying to push political agendas through at an emotional time. People, like myself, needed time to cry, time to pray, time to hug their children… I still feel like that today, but I feel like someone needs to beg for some sanity.

Any time this happens, and it happens all too often, the political extremists are out in full force. They know that emotions are high and they are opportunistic. To me this is so much of what is wrong with our society. People needed hugs and prayers, not condescending posts about how their gun control beliefs could have either saved those children, or killed those children. I guess there were 6 adults as well but, right or wrong, I focused on those 20 young kids for most of yesterday. I have three girls of my own and I was trying to come to grips with what had happened.

Some of my colleagues would like me to take a stand now and I refuse to do it. No one is well served to make decisions in an emotional state. What happened at Sandy Hook and in China yesterday has left many people all over the world in anger, sadness, despair, depression, and an array of emotions too many to comprehend.

Today I deleted a person on Facebook for the first time in two years. They put up a picture-post that read: “Prayer: How to do absolutely nothing and believe you are helping.”

More hate speech.

I saw this as a twisted young man trying to capitalize on the tragedy just like the gun folks, but in his case I could not swallow his bigotry.

People felt helpless yesterday and they needed to pray. I will respect an atheist if they respect me, but this was just more hate speech that I was not willing to deal with, especially in the wake of such a terrible tragedy.

Answers will be found, and questions will be raised over the coming days and weeks. I don’t feel like approaching the pulpit now. I just want to hug my babies and Thank God that they are safe.

It could have been any of us. Think about that. If it were you, would you really appreciate people minimizing your loss and immediately discussing the politics of the situation? This nation and especially the people in Connecticut need some time.

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We will all get our chance to share our ideas, but this is not the right time. If you want to help then start by getting in touch with the heart that your creator has given you. Then speak as a neighbor would speak to someone who had just lost a child at the hands of a madman.

Would you go up to that young family and start saying, “You know in Israel they arm their teachers. This wouldn’t have happened if the Kindergarten teacher was packing.”

Sometimes I am disgusted with some people. Am I wrong? If I am please comment below. I don’t feel like it is right to jump into the middle of this now. People can not rationally decide anything now, in my opinion. The emotions need to die down first.

This country will heal and things will be fine. The American People are resilient. Have faith, we will get to these issues when the time is right for all of us.

Just my opinion. Feel free to share yours.